


Easier To Just Swim Down

by aidennestorm



Series: We Keep Living [8]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Angst, Friendship, Jealousy, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:22:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26185624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aidennestorm/pseuds/aidennestorm
Summary: Washington stumbles upon an intimate scene, and makes a career-ending choice.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton & John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/George Washington
Series: We Keep Living [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1136549
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	Easier To Just Swim Down

The rec room is unusually busy for gamma shift, filled with distractions ranging from chess to poker to impromptu musical duets—a likely result of the restlessness the entire crew is feeling. Shore leave is pending final approval for the nearest Starbase, but it’s been too long since any of them have stepped foot on friendly soil. 

It’s been too long for Washington, who desperately needs to _run._

The last couple of weeks have been better than he could have ever hoped for or expected them to be. Hamilton grows more comfortable, more confident, on the bridge every shift. Peggy Schuyler, Gil, both of them are recovering and settling back into a routine, too. Even his own therapy sessions with Eliza are less fraught. 

It should be _enough._

Instead, he’s frozen in the doorway, still as he watches Lieutenant Laurens drape himself over Hamilton’s back, arms hanging loosely around his neck, cheeks pressed together. He says something in Hamilton’s ear, inaudible across the controlled chaos of the room, and Hamilton turns to look at him and laughs as he puts down a card. 

As Hamilton _doesn’t_ shy from his touch. He looks bright, and radiant, and _happy,_ and it’s undoubtedly clear that Washington has no standing to want impossible things… like for Hamilton to smile at him again, look at him with the same affection he gives Laurens so freely. 

He has no place to want to touch Hamilton like that, no matter what he yearns for in his fevered dreams. He doesn’t have the right. 

He never did.

He turns on his heel and flees, before anyone can see through the fragmented facade to his crumbling heart. It’s only muscle memory that leads him back to the isolation of his own quarters, because he’s sliding, dropping, and he can’t stop it. Every lesson Eliza has ever given him, every guidance, every attempt to tread water… 

Right now, none of it seems to matter. 

The door slides shut behind him, and he gets himself a glass of whisky from the replicator—

Settles at his desk with a datapad open to a blank message ready to be filled and sent to the Admiralty—

And begins to write.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: fragment, still, range (+ jealousy)


End file.
